From Burnout To Breakthrough: A Journey In Freelance Art And Design [part 2]

[Find part 1 here]

An existential crisis, but don’t worry— It gets better!

During all of this I came to the realization that all of the work I was putting in was not returning what I needed it to monetarily, and I was going to need to look for a “real” job. Not only was I working so much I was burning out, but all of that work felt like it was for nothing. (I know now that this was not true, but in the middle of it there was a feeling of mourning because it felt like failure.) I had met some huge goals, and was proud of my accomplishments up to that point, but the realization that it wasn’t going to work out how I had hoped was really sad for me, and I didn’t even know where to begin. I felt like I was having to, yet again, reinvent myself. It’s super difficult to not find one’s identity in one’s career/job. Who was I if I wasn’t creating art full-time?

So I began applying for jobs… lots, and lots of applications for jobs. But, it turns out, not only was I unable to make a go of my dream, I couldn’t even get hired at Hobby Lobby (seriously.) I was beyond frustrated and felt so defeated. But God intervened.

When I was at my lowest and feeling the most defeated, He brought along a lot of freelance graphic design work that I hadn’t been looking for. Before I knew it I was creating fun projects for other people, and was able to use my surface pattern design knowledge in brand identity and logo design work.

Also around this same time, hubs and I signed a contract for design work with a fintech company (financial tech, if you didn’t know already.) It was completely new to me and I felt out of my depth, but it challenged me to learn new design programs, and a new industry. That contract has since been completed, but I feel so thankful to have learned so much through it. It gave me a new-found confidence that I had been struggling to find, both in myself and in my work.

Recently, I feel a shift.

This entire story may sound very woe-is-me, but that is not how I mean to come across. I am so thankful, and I feel positive and excited about what may be just over the horizon. The past couple years have been filled with lessons in patience, trust, and learning about myself.

The fog is lifting. I am still working for myself in a creative capacity, it just looks a little different from what I thought it would a few years ago.
I’m doing brand identity development, and other creative freelance design work, but not only that, I’m finding that I want to pick up my paint brushes again! I’m able to walk into our studio without just turning right back around and walking out again! I have a few ideas for new collections, and have plans to submit new work in the new year.
I still have moments in which I just can’t seem to tackle basic daily tasks, but I work through it day by day… trying to remember to have patience and grace with myself.

Okay, wrap it up, Emily…

Let’s be honest- you didn’t sign up for all these words. I had NO idea this would turn into TWO blog posts! You didn’t ask for this. You probably follow my account for artwork and are wondering to yourself “why is she still talking?!”
I want to say thank you. Thank you for reading alllll of these words, (I don’t blame you if you didn’t!) or thank you, at least, for scrolling down to this point.

I hope something in these words resonates with you and helps you connect, somehow, with fellow humans.